Still.

Months has passed by, day and day i struggle really bad, to forget you, but you know what? I think i can manage to just ignore the fact you were here. You were my past, so let it be that way. Such a nightmare, beautiful but sting. Contagiously inside me. As this time, i met this wonderful man, he's just different, he didnt give up hopes, well he's a one creature that i cant stop thinking about, so special in my eyes, could this be love? Or just a fling that easy cum and easy goes? He's a definite not my taste, but this is crazy, he got my attention. Seldom happens to me. He makes me feel so alive, he manages to put my smile back. Ive notice so much man, but it just goes by like a wind. But this guy makes me weak, with his dashing little eyes. He blows me up up to the sky. A very strong feeling. But he and i keep on holding back, with our own reasons. We cant help eachother to love one another. Its a 50/50 relationship, i cant really be with a man with a condition like this. I'm still sick with my heart its still doesnt heal quite much. But i believe, with you by my side, i know i can through this broken hearted. Trust me, in the mean time, he still in process tryna accept the true facts of my fucking past. Love, you gave me space to breath, you rescued me from drowning, you gave a light in my dark night. Please dont stop trying.Still, now you are the one. Sai <3

mine

its been three long years. together forever is what you have promised, i believed every words. cause i love you from the start. i tried everything to make the 'us' work but at the end.. i fell to ground.. i wanted to reach you at the top but you didnt give your hand.. i wanted this so badly, it it was an obsession for me. you were like my drugs, so sweet and drove me so insane.. , i took every dose of you. it gave pleasure and the taste was so real. i need you to give more , you abused me. it was crazy. i remember every memories, de ja vuu. killing me.. you leave me.. how could you, you knew i can't live without your smile. i still hear your voice whispered through my ear, i still feel your touch in my dream. forgive me for my weakness but i dont know why without you its hard to survive, im out of breath and i also out of words, i just let you let me go.. its the best thing to do, but its a bad thing to cry for, the shed of tears doesnt worth for you.. the pain i feel was increadibly deep that i felt like drowning, its unspoken. bleeding again and again. i miss you. i knew the story, its not that i dont want you to be happy but how will you laugh when im hurting.
and now you are my beautiful nightmare..

living in a lie.

It was my smile that hides all my tears away. But when you look through my eyes then you’ll see what’s inside.